poems – DRAFT EXCLUDER

What now, zines & more

March 13, 2023 thedraftexcluderLeave a comment

hello again.

I had prepared a January themed blog post at the beginning of the year, but I didn’t like the genericness of that, so I scrapped it and didn’t write another. For months! Give us nothing! I did! And now it’s March!

I don’t see this as a bad start to the year (naturally) but instead just curating my blog (see: protecting it from crap) and not feeling compelled to post dross to fill up space and tick a box. Do you believe me?

A brief digression into talking about goals:

Instead of doing a lot of thinking (not problematic in itself, but more in terms of sheer quantity of head scratching time), this year, I decided I need to do more doing. Of course I have spent a bit of time thinking about how I want to reshape the direction of my practice this year- but I want to initiate practical steps in a timely fashion wherever possible.

I feel like I want to strip back some of the layers I have accumulated around my art making. After several years of exploring so many new processes, new techniques, new focuses, I want to return to some of the things that were foundational in my art practice in its early years.

I have really enjoyed expanding my creative repertoire to include things like screenprinting, needle punch, embroidery, monoprinting, self-publishing etc etc, but I have long harboured the desire to do a ‘back to basics’ project that would require me to tangle with some technical and personal challenges.

Where did it all begin??

Specifically I am talking about darkroom photography (also animation, but we will get to that). I was lucky enough to have access to a darkroom in my school years during my first forays into black and white photography. My dad allowed me to use his 35mm camera- a Canon AE1 which I still have and use to this day, and I was able to process films, and make my first black and white print (which I still have somewhere- a flower). I enjoyed the hands on nature of the process, the variables, the tinkering, and the quiet, meditative quality of working in the dark.

As I have previously mentioned, I moved into a new studio facility last year and was delighted to find a darkroom therein. I have yet to reacquaint myself with the processes, but have formulated a mini-project in my head to try and kick start my thinking, and get me fired up about all things darkroom. I will update as this progresses. Currently I have a steady thematic direction and am gathering research. Initiating this phase felt like quite a relief. Phew, I have an idea, I have a purpose.

I have also applied for some small-scale project funding to get the proposal going and allow me to purchase materials etc, but I will try to push this forward even on a micro scale if this doesn’t come to fruition. Where there is a will, there’s a hideous project on a shoe-string budget- that’s what I always say!

What I’m working on currently:

Since the beginning of the year I have been lucky enough to lead some more creative workshops. Professional practitioner time! These have been themed around making zines so far. I have, for many years now, enjoyed the process of making zines, mostly for showcasing my artwork and writing, and making them as part of my Cannibal Cubs projects.

I also enjoy collecting and reading other zines. I love a niche, and zines are a niche’s niche.

Self-publishing is fun and only as complicated as you make it (sometimes really complicated- love that). For years I was lucky enough to have access to a photocopier which hugely aided the development and dissemination of my creations. Also a long-reach stapler- very, very key. (Although I do stitch bind now too!). I borrowed this from my Dad initially (thanks again Dad) and he said to me ‘oh yeah I used it to make shitey booklets’, and honestly, same ever since. And no, I didn’t return it. The more garbage your aesthetic the better sometimes with zines, so it suited me as a DIY method of getting my work out there. How ‘out there’ it got is still up for debate…

I have also had a couple of zines professionally printed- primarily as part of a funded project, but also as part of a collaborative exhibition. I like the lo-fi aesthetic of a handmade zine, its potential and power, rooted in a long history of subversiveness, rebelliousness and subculture infighting. My favourites!

The workshops I have been leading have been aimed at beginners and accomplished zinesters alike, so I’ve tried to pitch them at an accessible level, but also allow people the opportunity to experiment and play, and maybe challenge themselves to step away from their usual method of making, or format etc. So far I have been pleased with the way these sessions have unfolded (excuse the poster zine pun), and look forward to continuing. I like it when a workshop opens you up to continuing a practice at home, and is affordable and accessible- both collage making and zines embody this well.

One of the other reasons I’ve enjoyed introducing people to zine making is that, like any hands on activity, it encourages people to slow down their thinking a bit, consider what they are constructing/writing, and have a break from the immediacy of online life, or even just daily routine and frenetic, wired in living. Looking at someone else’s handmade zine is equally an opportunity to take some time to see the world through another’s eyes, be exposed to opinions you may not usually encounter, see something stimulating… I can get quite evangelical about the possibilities and benefits.

Making something with your hands can be highly therapeutic, allowing you to get close to that coveted flow state. Being playful is something that can be severely lacking, or forgotten about completely, even for creatives or artists. Remember fun?

I always joke with peers about how ART IS NOT FUN!!! But it’s not really true. It’s trying to make a living from art that’s not fun. Play and creative practice are great ways to refresh your perspective, for creative professionals and well, anyone. Sometimes this needs to be enforced in a workshop environment (weee organised fun… said… not me), as carving out ‘playtime’ in your own schedule always seems to fall off the list, if it ever even makes it on in the first place.

What I’m reading

INFERNO!! by Dante

Pretty sure I’ve stood in the ‘vestibule of hell’ before in many public buildings but I digress.

Picked this up as a bit of research for a project. I danced around reading this after toiling with Ovid and others. Sometimes another saga… I’m not ready. I think I’m a more mature reader now but was surprised by how readily I was absorbed into the journey.

To be continued…

What I’m listening to

I just finished Katherine Rundell’s wonderful book on John Donne ‘Superinfinite‘. I enjoyed this biography, which was very humorous, very well written and engaging. I came away with a new understanding of Donne’s life and his works. I have studied his poetry, read it countless times, and I still gained fresh insight and enthusiasm to revisit his work once more. 400 years on (and no, that’s not since I studied him THANKS), it amazes and delights me that works that are so old can still speak to us- the common themes are eternal to our species: love, death, suffering, grief, spirituality, all the big ones that move, motivate and unravel us.

I didn’t realise quite how many words in the English language that Donne was personally responsible for (no spoilers). It wasn’t always a totally edifying portrayal, but it added a human, ‘mortal’ element that I found lacking in other studies of Donne. It shows Donne as poet, lover, father, preacher- all phases of his life, and the paradoxical nature of these many transformations. He was someone at the mercy of his desires, beaten down by corporeality, but also someone totally enthralled and astounded by human life.

Highly recommend this book. I am a superfan. Life affirming, fascinating stuff.

That’s a short recap for now, thanks for reading!

J 🙂

Garbage Portents- a zine

September 30, 2022 thedraftexcluder1 Comment

Garbage Portents Zine- my newest completed zine project!

After my ‘Omens‘ show was over I decided I wanted to commemorate assembling that body of work by creating a zine. I thought it would be a nice was to condense the show, almost like an exhibition catalogue but if it were made by a raccoon. I have been ‘self-publishing’ (if you can call it that) zines for many years as part of my work with Cannibal Cubs. I like the DIY nature of making a zine, I usually assemble, copy and bind them myself. Skills! I have access to a photocopier at my job (I am building up to a post about artists and jobs, brace yourselves), so I have a low cost way of disseminating my printed works. I typically price them between £5-£7 so they aren’t too much of a bank-buster for the reader either, one of my own favourite things about zines and why I have so many myself!

I’ve had some zines printed professionally in the past, which is nice and the method I would always choose for a photography zine (photocopiers don’t do justice to colour photos imo), but for many of my projects I can get away with a VERY lo-fi approach and finish. I think I enjoy the tactility of a handmade zine, seeing the photocopier roller marks, the imperfections in the print. I’ve always enjoyed gathering other artist’s zines and some of my favourites are the most lo-fi ones. Sometimes you have an idea, or a collection of things that just need to be out in the world, and it’s a great low budget way to do it.

‘Bygone’ zine by myself and the artist Mary Butterworth for a show of the same title.

With Cannibal Cubs we used our zines as a moodboard for collections of our other handmade items, such as prints and wearables. They were often just replicas of sketchbooks we created from the germ of an idea- sometimes just a phrase or a theme we run with. The zines are quite chaotic but there is always some semblance of cohesion- I promise.

A layout ‘plan’ for a Cannibal Cubs Zine.

For the ‘Omens’ zine I wanted to try something I had been slowly building on for previous CC zines- including pieces of text written by me. I suppose it would be correct to call them poems. I had been writing short pieces during the period when I was creating the visual works for the show, so I felt like the poems worked naturally alongside the collages.

I used to write a lot of poetry when I was younger- I remember once having a poem published in one of those compendiums you pay to be a part of (!) I was probably twelve and the book had the most hideous cover. Thankfully there isn’t much evidence of this mini-poet so we can all rest easy.

I came back to writing text pieces around the time I worked on my series ‘Some Re-assemblage required’ where I produced a photographic zine at the end of the project (this one was professionally printed as I had some funding- neat!). I was really excited by the idea of incorporating text into my work. I think it was something I felt I couldn’t really do with the work I was making at the time. I would agree that my ‘Corvid Eyes’ style collage work would struggle with the inclusion of text without it being really twee, but my more experimental photographic pieces/digital works were certainly more welcoming of the inclusion of text.

‘Some Re-Assemblage Required’ zine (2019)

I think this step back towards my own creative writing was around the time I was beginning to read more, and particularly reading more poetry. I found lots of authors whose work spoke to me in a way I hadn’t encountered before, and it was apparent that I didn’t have to adhere to a particular format, or pentameter, to write something- at that point it didn’t even need to be good, just something. The poets I discovered at this point were, amongst others, Maggie Nelson and Melissa Broder (we’ve covered my fangirling previously…). I think I had erroneously built poetry up in my mind as something I didn’t do any more, something I wasn’t interested in, something that just wasn’t for me. Wrong!

I mostly write in the evenings, often right before I go to sleep. I sometimes get a rush of ideas when I am trying to wind down, and I keep a notebook handy for this purpose. Sometimes it felt like the writing was a sort of purge, and I was able to sleep better afterwards, like finishing a crossword (no? just me?) or writing a list so your conscious mind can rest. I sometimes felt like when I was writing I was in that flow state I mention so frequently, not quite out-of-body, but just feeling more in-between than present. I have to be in a state where I am neither self conscious or critical, that can come later, I just need to write the words down as they ‘appear’ to me. If that sounds too airy-fairy, it’s basically just a state where the busyness of my mind is briefly veiled, or fully uncorked, and I can just write.

Summer evening set up with books (note- *poetry* books! who is she?), bed and my view- the sort of time I like to write when I can!

I wouldn’t describe this process as ‘automatic writing‘ as such, but I do believe in the influence of the subconscious in art making. When I was created the visual works for ‘Omens’ I took pains to follow my instincts- if an image ‘spoke’ to me I would include it, and would let my mind wander for other potential associations, for images to actively seek out for the works. Sometimes it can be easy to fool yourself into believing you’re doing things ‘automatically’ but I try to be fluid and not overanalyse my own patterns of thinking while I work (again I can do that later, and oh boy do I).

The creation of the zine was relatively straightforward. I typed up all the poems I wanted to include, and set about creating a suitable running order, pairing works with images that, in my mind, made sense. I tried not to get too bogged down in this, as I kept reminding myself- it’s my zine, I can make as many versions as I like! One of the perks of self-production is that you are less worried about making typos and other errors as you can easily reprint, or not care, without feeling like you wasted good money on something that now needs to live in a box under your bed for the rest of your years.

One of the pistachio coloured prints from the show I really liked- grabs you by the eye… balls.

One of the decisions I did give some thought to was the colour of paper for the zine. I had printed the visual works for the show as risographs, and many of them had been in coloured paper and then presented in coloured frames. I felt like the zine deserved a pop of colour too. So I selected a salmon pink colour, and a lime/acid green colour. These were similar to my two favourite paper colours from the show- salmon and pistachio. The acid green is maybe a bit hard on the eyes for reading, but it is really impactful and packs a punch behind the black images.

In an ideal world I would have produced this zine by risograph as well, but my budget wasn’t quite able to go that far. The packs of paper I bought were super low cost, and in already having access to the photocopier I was able to produce the zines very, very cheaply. I stitch bind them on a sewing machine at home, and my back-up go-to is a long reach stapler. Welcome to lo-fi town.

Overall I am pleased with how the zines turned out. They won’t have a huge reach, but it felt like a milestone for me in terms of producing a zine with my own creative writing included. I might even submit some of my poems to some online poetry zines, once I’ve had a bit more practice, or maybe it’s just something I do for my own practice. Either way it has felt like a poignant moment for me, expanding what I do, building my confidence to continue writing, and feeling less and less pigeonholed by my own work. Win/win.

KEY FACTS ABOUT THE ZINE!

It’s 36 pages cover to cover.

The title came from a conversation about bad omens where I described everything I had seen as ‘garbage portents’.

It contains 10 poems- and some of them have bad language- soz.

Erm, that’s it.

For those who are interested, you can buy the zine here. I do ship internationally!

Thanks for reading, as always.

Jenny 🙂