So this week I finished my current audiobook listen: ‘A Cigarette Lit Backwards‘ by Tea Hacic-Vlahovic.
I enjoyed the audiobook version so much that I wish I had chosen this version for her first book ‘Life of the Party’ (actually it’s not available in English, only Italian, good reason to learn). Having Hacic-Vlahovic reading the text was like having a friend telling you stories and secrets, unlike reading it in a monotone in my own head (jokes I don’t really do that. But as an aside I once read that not everyone ‘reads aloud’ in their head when reading a book and quite frankly I was disturbed. But then I learned that not everyone has a near constant monologue in their own head… not that I have that… no…).
Anyway back to the book! I really enjoyed this teenage whirlwind, coming-of-age tale, set in the early 2000s. Thankfully due to my own age (no spoilers) I was well versed in a lot of the cultural references, and it engendered a combination of nostalgia and relief in me that I am no longer living in that era! Although… pre social media as we know it… tempting…. I never even had MySpace! lol.
The book reminded me of the intoxicatingly violent headiness of being a teenager. The impulsiveness, the intensity and depth of emotion, the swaying from ‘fuck it’ to ‘who am I what am I doing’. The gross perils of navigating your first forays in romantic entanglements with others, the abuses of power that seem to come naturally to so many. The all or nothing dynamic of relationships/friendships- just sheer intensity, stirred up with hormones, mixed with a determined rebelliousness against… well, most things.
Similar to living in the early 00’s (would you like to experience more misogyny than today?) I don’t think I miss my teenage years (heck no), and like the main character Kat, I hated school. I couldn’t wait to leave and get onto the next stage of my life. To stop being treated like a child, to not be a child. Kat fights the good fight of teen rebellion in a self-assured way that my 15 year old self would have been in awe of. I’ve always said that teen girls (having been one) are one of the most dangerous, potent forces on the planet and this book does little to contradict this. Kat is a force, and although prey to the same insecurities and doubts that every teen suffers, she rebounds in ways that I (in my decrepitude) was delighted and rallied by. I was cheering Kat on, I wanted to hug her, and I wanted, more than anything, to go clothes shopping with her. Teen dream!
It reminded me of the Bikini Kill song, ‘Rebel Girl’:
When she talks, I hear the revolution
In her hips, there’s revolution
When she walks, the revolution’s coming
In her kiss, I taste the revolution
Rebel girl, rebel girl
I know I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes, uh
The book is propelled by the snowball effect of decisions, even small ones, at that time of life, and the ways they can lead you down unexpected, or ultimately doomed paths. One minute you’re being led gently by the hand, the next fate punches you in the gut, right? But it also reminds you of the possibilities in life, of making different choices, of staying true to yourself (too cheesy? there’s a lot of grilled cheese in this book so it’s on my mind), and of *namaste betches* rebirth!
Also enjoyed the observations of the trappings of small-town mindsets (heaven help us), and the conformity that is sometimes embedded in subcultures, even those based in non-conformity (ew you like that band? ew you’re wearing that?). It also reminded me of the joy of finding others that think like you, and the inevitable betrayals when people turn out to be more (or less) than you thought. Teen years are the Everest of learning curves and this book, at times painfully, documents the torment of internal and external struggles reaching an apex. I always thought the next part was the most exciting- taking all that and using it to shape yourself into an individual. This book is steeped in that sense of possibility and it is a welcome reminder that that feeling exists, on different scales, in our lives well beyond our teen years.
I would recommend this book to anyone who was an alt teen in the 00s and anyone who wasn’t- what’s the point of reading if you don’t take the chance to see through someone else’s eyes and expand your thinking. Sermon over.
That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighbourhood
I got news for you, she is!
Making
This week I have been working with my Cannibal Cubs collaborator to make a new piece for an upcoming group show. The deadline is pretty tight, so things have to happen QUICK!
I feel like I’m quite behind on some projects, not sure why, motivation has been a bit low, and energy even lower. I sometimes think the change of the seasons, particularly into autumn, leaves me feeling a bit drained. Hoping things pick up- either that or maybe I’ll just hibernate. Done deal.
Have an upcoming trip to Edinburgh so will aim to share some of my cultural/photographic highlights!
Thanks for reading
J 🙂
DRAFT EXCLUDER 